Never Can Say ||GOODBYE||..

I have set here @ the computer for about 10mins trying to figure out exactly how to word my feelings for this blog...i got nothing...I'm goin through so much right now and I can't word it the way I wanna...but I need to spill it so I'll attempt to try....

Got word yesterday that my dad is dying, all five major organs are slowly but surely failing him, went in to see him in ICU, he was in and out, took one look at my brother and got choked up, then I got choked up and a piece of my drifted away. Theres so much my father has'nt seen us do yet, like have children, get married, graduate from college, finish making him proud. I feel like I've been robbed and I'm trying my best not to be upset w/God b/c my father is tired, he's suffered long enough and going home will be the best thing for him. I just cannot fully face those facts.

This man never thought less of me no matter what I did, he treated me better than my mother, I was not his little princess I was his queen. To him me and my brother were his world, in fact he's fought so hard for his life to make my brother & I happy and for that I thank him. He often went without so that me and my brother would not lack ANYTHING...and for that I am for ever grateful..I saw him today...so sick, so sad, so worn out, so tired, so helpless and I began to weep, all he ever wanted to do was please me and my brother and even when he completed that task he never felt it was enough. My daddy would not only give you the shirt off his back but buy you two just like it.


My mind has not fully wrapped itself around this situation so I keep praying and asking God to take his pain away and whisper in his ear, let him know that he is in great hands and that me and my brother will be ok. I ask that God gives us strength and keeps us. I havent been able to stop crying because I'm gonna miss him, but I won't worry b/c I know my warrior has finshed all battles and needs to rest.



So w/that being said daddy I THANK you for giving me life, I thank you for putting up with my mother's maddnes to give me and my brother a better life and a love that was especially made for me & Giovanni, I thank you for loving me no matter my flaws and being proud of my spite my smart mouth, tattoos, and my hard head. You have taught me soooooooooooooooooo much, like how to love, how to stand up for myself, how to make things happen and how to be a great rolemodel even when I haven't always been the best example.


Daddy I will cherish my love for cooking, smiling, music, finer things in life,bluntness and cockyness,being outgoing and my kindheartedness,which I recieved all from you... ;-)



I never thought I would see this day so soon because you have faught for so long...6 yrs to be exact, BUT I know your tired so I won't be stingy I'll just fall back...give it to God & let you rest...I love you Daddy


L0ve your, "Boo-ga-Lou" ;-) ♥